What did I do on my day off?  Absolutely nothing!!  I hung out at the hostel and tried to will my head cold to go away.  I did manage to think of a way to reframe climate change skepticism though–in a way that hits the American psyche very hard.

Are you tired of being accused of buying into some conspiracy by people who hold science in contempt and attack the reputations of top-of-the-line experts who have dedicated their lives to scientific inquiry (not money or politics)? Tired of being called a namby-pamby liberal for seeing the truth quite clearly?  May I recommend you present your opponents with the following points:

  • You don’t believe in climate change? Didn’t you know climate change skepticism is a worldwide hoax perpetrated by Saudi Arabia? Saudi Arabia is an oil exporter; it possesses an entire quarter of the world’s oil reserves. They know that fossil fuels, LIKE THEIR OIL, pollute, and that that carbon pollution will in fact trap heat within our atmosphere. But they depend on oil to fund their obscene existence, and so are resisting the notion of climate change with all their might. This includes obstructing the US’s progress at overcoming our fossil fuel dependency, plying Congress with funds through the oil lobby, and spreading lies to the American public so that law-abiding citizens begin to question the findings of hard-working American scientists.
  • Why would they do this? I hope the answer is obvious to you. Oil funds Saudi Arabia’s existence, and a large part of their oil wealth goes towards funding terrorism. These people want to destroy the West and the American way of life! It is to their benefit that we continue to pay their para-military budget with our oil consumption, and that we weaken our infrastructure through the havoc their substances are wreaking on the planet. It’s just a plot to ensure that the Saudis can implement their Wahhabi-style rule on our Christian country.
  • Don’t believe me? Read any book about ibn Saud’s conquest of Arabia. He did his work by preempting local rivals, manipulating the policies of larger countries (such as Imperial Britain and France), and of course disrupting local ways of life. He would impose his religion on conquered territories and use the fanaticism of his new converts to attack new territories. The death toll didn’t matter–such zealots were happy to die for their new religion. Those who did not suicidally destroy the enemy were forced to labor in agriculture. This is diametrically opposed to the traditional nomadic way of life, and his new subjects had no idea how to resist subjugation with their environment changed from desert to agriculture.  See any parallels to the situation today?
  • This is why you don’t find a lot of other countries that disbelieve climate change–terrorists aren’t out to destroy THEM. We’re their target, and their target audience for their lies, rumors, and myths. Of course it seems like the scientists are lying–Saudi Arabia is the most anti-modern country on the planet; of course they would seek to discredit science, especially when it interferes with their sinister agenda.
  • Do you know who hacked into the scientists’ emails and disseminated the information on the web, and why? Well, I don’t know either, but you can bet they were on the Saudi payroll–and they did it to cover their own involvement in the conspiracy. The more we shout at the scientists, the more we ignore Saudi Arabia’s underhanded conspiracy to dupe us all and take control of us.
  • Don’t believe in climate change? That’s what Saudi Arabia wants you to think! You are buying into a terrorist lie! WAKE UP AMERICA! Your country needs you, and the world need you to lead!

That’s how we need to reframe this discussion.  Sure the conspiracy is a lie, but climate change deniers believe lies anyway.  Let’s at least call a spade a spade: skepticism is funded by the oil industry, and we need people to remember that Saudi Arabia is part of that industry.

*Apologies to my Saudi Arabian friends.